what?

2.34am

Currently can’t sleep. My brain keeps digging memories from the past, and I did nothing to stop it. Yap. This is about you, my best friend, my best boy, my ex.

I love remembering all about you. This time I let my heart wins, I let my tears fall. I feel so complicated now. Like it’s our last days of highschool.

I planned to graduate with you, have a family with you, love each other until death tear us apart. This might sounds stupid but I really meant it.

I just feel so comfortable being near you. Your chubby cheek, your glasses, your smile, your perfume, your hands, you.

I just love how I enjoy every minute I spent with you. We acted like bestfriend, we do fun stuff together, how we never act like we’re old, we dated like we’re having our first love. I love how I could be so open up to you, and so do you.

I love how you suddenly texted me saying ‘open the door, I’m outside your home’, I love how you kiss my cheek when you picked me out on a date and said ‘I love your smell baby’.

I love how you listened to me talking soooo many words, well sometimes I get a little angry because you dint say anything but then you smiled, ‘why do you stop talking? I love listening to your story’. I love staring at you when you were driving. Remember I said you looked super handsome? I meant it, you were, you are.

I love tickling your tummy! You looked so hilarious.
I love playing games with you.
I love your style, you’re the most stylist person I’ve ever date, I admit it.
I love it when we had a little argumentation, and just ends it that’s sweet. I find it sweet when you said ‘don’t cry because of me, well I’ll allow you to, but that will be the time I make you proud, the time you give a birth to our baby’. Some doesn’t believe in that kind of words, but I believe it, I believe in you, I believe we’ll be forever.

I love the way you came to my class, and wrote your name all over my binder without my permission.
I love writing your name and give a little heart above it.

I love reading our old conversation, and how we always been that sweet, we never lose the spark.
I love how I never get bored of you.
I love hacking your phone.
I love laying me head on your lap, I love how you randomly kissed my cheek, and also pinch it! This one’s might be weird but I love seeing bruises on my legs, you pinched them whenever I tickle you. I love your ‘before-bed’ calls, I love your goodmorning texts, I love so much random things about you. So much. It makes me confuse.

I simply love you. Still. That’s all.

Sometimes I still can’t stand the fact that you leave me, you leave me loving you. I don’t wanna find out how you feel about me, I don’t wanna leave deeper scars. I don’t mean to let you know about this, you wouldn’t care at all as well. I saw you doing very well without me, the fact that you spent the last two months of our relationship thinking about dumping me. I know you’ll be fine. I kinda miss you very much, my buddy. I lost one of my best friend. I hate it. I lost my love, and my friend at the very same time. This is so very awkward.

Have a better life out there, pal. As Yellowcard says ‘I’ll let go, there’s just no one like you’. Goodbye, thankyou, sorry, and have a nice new life. I wish you all the best for your future. I love you,
MDMP :)

Your real ‘people’

I just hate the fact that they (I called them my superb best friend, like forever and ever bestfriend) aren’t truly my best friend. I spent like a half of this year hating the way they changed so dramatically and drastically irritates me. How come the people I love the most become the ones who I hate the most. How I used to ask to God to keep them in my life and how I want them to be gone or maybe just stay away from me. I just think that this so-called-friendship doesn’t work well. I feel like those times I spent alone are the most precious moments. Everybody feels that way, right? I have to face that those I think will stay forever, don’t deserve it.

And I met a group of singing people in my church, I become so emotionally attached to them. And they makes me feel better for sure! I love how they make jokes, talk, share their problems, everything! I respect them more like my brothers-and-sisters from different parents. And doing so many things with them truly makes me happy. We sing and pray and go to church and soooo many positive stuff! I don’t wanna call it as friends with benefit but they do give me some good feedback. I hope that we could tied together forever as servers of God.

I didn’t mean to compare them but I think I know who will stay and who won’t (:

If you love Him, Reblog this.

(Source: emcadamelodia, via african-thug)